A President's Out-of-Body Experience

His palm lined with cold sweat, he pulled out his phone from his pocket to see a message from He Jun. Only then did he remembered that he had promised to reply him, but had forgotten all about it. However, He Jun’s text was not a reminder about it, but a recipe for a hangover tea, saying that it would be beneficial to Renzi.

Renzi felt embarrassed about it, and immediately replied. “Thanks. I just gave a call to Brother Xiaoshan. He said everything’s fine, just that he’s very busy. Don’t worry.”

He Jun: “Thank you very much. Now I can relax. By the way, did he know that I’m the one asking?”

Renzi was honest about it. “I didn’t tell him.”

“That’s good. I was actually worried that he would think that I was too naggy.”

Renzi was taken aback. What? It’s like this? I still thought if Brother Xiaoshan knew about He Jun’s concern he would be touched by it! I should have just told Brother Xiaoshan... Oh, wait, that’s not right...

Thinking about this, Renzi was also alarmed by his own thoughts. What am I doing? How can I try to make people seem bad? Am I also this cruel?

Renzi left Gu Xiaoshan’s room as though he was running away, even forgetting that Ha-cube was still locked in the bathroom. He was extremely dispirited, but did not want to drink more alcohol, and so grabbed a few packets of lemon tea. Drinking the cold lemon tea through a straw while watching a lengthy artistic film playing on the television — a beautiful man on screen spoke in a low voice. “Anyone can become vicious, as long as you’ve tasted what jealousy is...”

Jealousy... This word pierced into Renzi’s heart. He looked at the gloomy Leslie Cheung on the television. Am I jealous too? Will I also become vicious? After becoming vicious, can I become as good looking as Leslie Cheung?

(T/N: Leslie Cheung was a famous Hong Kong actor and singer who happened to be bisexual.)

This issue of “jealousy” and “vicious”, firmly grabbed onto Renzi’s heart on this rare occasion of watching something artistic. Renzi stared at the screen, watching the scenes of the desert, the lonely beauty, then, as he reflected, he — fell asleep.

This film was really very boring.

To reflect on life was something completely unsuitable for him. He decided to go with the flow instead.

He thought that he was not the type to turn vicious, after all, he was so stupid. Who would not like a person like He Jun, whose words were always so pleasant to hear? As for him? Gu Xiaoshan had always commented that he was a “fish without a brain, who could not say anything decent, and could only blow bubbles and make a fool out of himself”.

Once, Ha-cube had stuck its head into the laundry basket and could not pull itself out. Renzi took a photo and sent it to Gu Xiaoshan, and Gu Xiaoshan had asked if he was taking a selfie. Clearly, in the eyes of Gu Xiaoshan, Renzi’s image was so dreadful! He was just a dog! And a dog like Ha-cube!

Renzi had never felt so depressed before.

This was a rare instance in his life in which he was examining himself — then realised that his life could not hold up to the examination. Intelligence, he had none. Wealth, it was his dad’s. Capabilities, none existed — Of course, his ability to create trouble for his dad was still pretty strong.

The more he thought about it, the more hopeless he felt, and so sent a text to an old friend. “Hei Zi, I’m in despair!”

Hei Zi thought he was disconsolate over the matters of Yang Yihan, so replied, “It’s fine, there are still other girls! Come to my club tonight, half price on models, and they’ll only accompany you!”

Renzi frowned, “I don’t do prostitutes.”

Hei Zi clicked his tongue, “Fine, I won’t take your money! Like that, it won’t count as prostitution!”

Renzi was struck dumb by Hei Zi.

Hei Zi asked, “What happened?”

“I discovered that there’s no hope in my life.”

Hei Zi thought that Renzi got drunk again, but patiently replied, “Why would you think that way?” Just as he was about to summon his rare display of tenderness, ready to becoming his old friend’s life coach, and light a candle of hope for him, he immediately saw Renzi’s next message.

“Because only today, I realised, I, Yu Yunren, other than having a handsome face and an excellent family background, have nothing to my name.”

“No, you’re very good at aggrandising yourself too.”

After Renzi spoke frankly about how distraught he was, Hei Zi then knew that Renzi was truly confused and not bragging. As a friend, Hei Zi scolded him to his face. “You’re both wealthy and good looking, what more do you want? Idiot! Want me to make you an emperor? I say, you’re really silly and stupid!”

Renzi was scolded into further confusion. “Ah... But look at my brother, and Brother Xiaoshan, they’re rich and handsome too, but they still have many other good points. And when my dad was younger...”

Hei Zi was doubtful again, “Bro, are you really not aggrandising?”

As he chatted, Renzi suddenly remembered that Ha-cube was still locked in Gu Xiaoshan’s bathroom. He hurriedly went upstairs and released Ha-cube. Having been locked for a few hours, Ha-cube thought it was being punished for doing something wrong, and so did not dare to struggle. Instead, it allowed Renzi to bring it to the kennel and stayed there.

Renzi became aware that things were far from good.

Most of it had to do with Renzi’s “real worries”.

Yu Yuntao once said that it was good that Renzi was silly, as he would not have any worries. Renzi then bit back and said that he had many worries, especially towards his love life. Yu Yuntao did not act like an older brother and showed concern for his love life, only concluding coolly, “Isn’t it just throwing money at whichever girl you think is pretty, and your worry is that even after throwing money, you can’t get them.”

Renzi saw that his many years of worries was really concluded by that one sentence from Yu Yuntao...

Renzi also only started having a richer love life after becoming a CEO. When he was still studying, he was always strictly controlled by old Mister Yu. At that time, when the teachers said that Renzi’s studies were not good, old Mister Yu was very understanding, and said that Renzi had tried his best. However, if complaints were made about his ideological and moral character, Renzi would be in for a good beating when he went home. Old Mister Yu always said, “I never hoped that you would excel in school, but, you must still be a good person!”

Once, Renzi saw a strap around a female classmate’s neck, and did not know that it was a bra strap. He asked Gu Xiaoshan, “Hey, what is that?”

Gu Xiaoshan told him, “You’ll know after you pull it.”

Renzi really could not control his stupid hand, he reached out and pulled it. The girl was furious, and told the teacher that Renzi was behaving indecently. After going home, Renzi was beaten up very badly, and never dared to take one step beyond the line. It progressed to the point that when a female student talked to him, he would hold his head up high and pulled a face. There was a girl who said quietly, “What’s the point of being good looking, he’s stupid and rude.”

Hearing that, Renzi tugged at Gu Xiaoshan’s sleeve. “Did you hear that? The girl said I was good looking!”