A President's Out-of-Body Experience

Old Mister Yu pulled out a chair to take a seat, and also signalled Yu Yuntao to sit down as he smiled. “It’s nothing, it’s just our Yuntao giving you an apology!”

“Huh?” Gu Xiaoshan was extremely bewildered, but he kept a polite smile on his face. “Who and the what? President Gu and I are fine!”

Yu Yuntao’s expression was very stern. “How can you lie in front of an elder? When have I ever been fine with you?”

“Uhh...” Gu Xiaoshan always felt that Yu Yuntao never behaved logically, and so could only go along. “Yes.”

Yu Yuntao sat down. “It’s like this, I told my dad about the incident where I went to your office and nearly bursting your head with a flying kick when I had a misunderstanding about you and Zhi Xuan.”

Gu Xiaoshan felt very awkward, but he played it off cooling, waving his hand. “That’s nothing! I’ve also banged your head more than once!”

Old Mister Yu coughed drily a couple of times, correcting him sternly. “Banged shouldn’t be used like this.”

“Yes, yes,” Gu Xiaoshan had thought it was about this, and so said, “It’s fine, there’s no need for apologies.”

“I must, I must,” Yu Yuntao picked up an exquisitely crafted flagon from the table, and poured some liquor into a dainty cup, passing it to Gu Xiaoshan, then pouring half a cup for himself. “Here, cheers to you!”

The cups and the flagon were a set, a delicately crafted type without a handle. The cups could not store much liquid in them. Gu Xiaoshan did not find any problem with it, and drank it down.

Old Mister Yu then said, “Ah, it’s me who didn’t teach my son well! Here’s to you too!”

Old Mister Yu also poured out a cup for Gu Xiaoshan, and Gu Xiaoshan also finished it.

Next, Yu Yuntao started talking. “By the way, do you know that Renzi was having gastric pain the past couple of days?”

Gu Xiaoshan was slightly taken aback. “I really didn’t know that...”

Yu Yuntao topped up Gu Xiaoshan’s cup as he spoke, “It’s really something. He fermented a wine, and ended up poisoning himself! What sort of standards does he have?”

Gu Xiaoshan laughed along, “This, this is probably his standard when he plays a witch in <The Werewolf Killer>!”

Everyone burst into laughter.

Yu Yuntao tried every trick in his book to express his conversational side to the best of his ability. Although Old Mister Yu had not been attending drinking sessions for a long time, but he was still vigorous and hearty, and so joined in the battle as well, bringing in a new wind. Despite Gu Xiaoshan feeling something was wrong with this, but to save face, he could not leave. Also, as the cup was very small, he was not drinking much, so did not remain vigilant.

What he did not know was that flagon was one could store and pour two different types of liquor. The Yu father and son were drinking an ordinary liquor, while Gu Xiaoshan was drinking one that was specially prepared. Its taste was unique, easy to drink, and the aftereffects came in strong. Three bowls were enough to make one drunk, and it was the long-lost, legendary “Fighting the Tiger Tonight”.

Halfway through the drinking session, Renzi joined them. The reason for his late arrival was because he had to dress up first before coming down to see his beloved. However, by the time he arrived, he discovered that his beloved was in an extremely wretched state. Yu Yuntao saw Renzi and dragged him to take a seat as well. “You came at a good time, we’re already halfway through. You’ve only just recovered, just drink a little and that’s enough.”

Renzi had just recovered, and his alcohol tolerance was not at the best state. He also passed out after two cups of “Fighting the Tiger Tonight”.

Experience always prevailed. Although Gu Xiaoshan was the wily sort, but with his vigilance down, he was also knocked out by this pair of father and son.

“What now?” Yu Yuntao asked.

“Bring him up!” Old Mister Yu commanded.

Drunk people were especially heavy, and Gu Xiaoshan was a tall and broad man who always worked out. For Yu Yuntao to lift him up, it was also quite difficult, and he kept shooting pleading looks at Old Mister Yu. Old Mister Yu could not be bothered. “I’m already so old, with osteoporosis. You’re still expecting me to help?”

Yu Yuntao could only call the butler over. When the butler saw this situation, he spread his palms out, showing his helplessness. “I’m old too.”

Yu Yuntao was furious, but he also had no choice. It was not good for them to call other people like the security guards to take a hand in such matters, and so he could only carry him to the bedroom alone. When he reached the room, Yu Yuntao was also dying. “Why did I have to come up with this sort of brainless idea?”

Old Mister Yu nodded. “I also feel that it’s quite embarrassing. But we don’t have a choice, we can’t continue watching our Renzi go crazy.”

Yu Yuntao asked, “Seizing a yellow-legged chicken like this, it’s actually not legal, right?”

A rooster’s legs were a dark yellow, and so they were called “yellow-legged chicken”. In the past, when people from Guangdong wanted to catch a rooster, they would bait it with a hen, and trap the rooster with its lust. This method was later adapted by unlawful people to be used on humans. They would lure males into having improper relations, and blackmail them for money. This method, in Taiwan, was also referred to as the “badger game”.

Old Mister Yu instead said, “This is not considered seizing the yellow-legged chicken! We’re not blackmailing this little Gu fellow’s money, we only want the rest of his life! See, we also dug this trap for Renzi!”

Yu Yuntao felt that his father made a lot of sense, and mentioned another misgiving. “I’m afraid that Gu Xiaoshan will figure it out and detest us for this! What happens if the situation turns bad?”

Old Mister Yu replied, “If he really gets angry, then we’ll definitely need to give him a way out and let him go. After all, we’re not unlawful criminals! At this time, we’ll ask the butler to come settle this matter, he’s very good at it. We’ll apologise again, and I’ll throw away my dignity to tearfully apologise about the mistake and misunderstanding. He won’t be able to say anything, and will instead need to come console me. These cultured people are most afraid of such shamelessness!”

Old Mister Yu’s words had Yu Yuntao taken aback. He thought it was fortunate that Old Mister Yu was involved in a respectable business, if not, their society would have one more unscrupulous tyrant. He really did not know how Old Mister Yu, with his conduct, could beat Renzi and tell him that he must “be an honest and good man” without any embarrassment.

Old Mister Yu’s meaning was, if a person wanted to get rich, it was very difficult for them to stay within legality. To be able to maintain this balance was very difficult. If that person did not have the intelligence to do so, they might as well just be an honest person and live their life peacefully and tranquilly.

Old Mister Yu dared not input his opinions towards a child’s education, but he actually felt that he did manage to realise the most basic principle of his education method. The son he had personally brought up, although he was not smart and clever, he was really an honest person.

However, Gu Xiaoshan was not some “honest man”, and it was impossible for him to be frightened by such a badger game. Old Mister Yu could only pray that things would go in a good direction.

When Gu Xiaoshan woke up, he felt hungover, and a numbness in his legs, as though there was something heavy lying on them. Reaching out his hand to push it away, he was shocked to feel smooth skin. Gu Xiaoshan jolted awake in alarm, only to see a smooth, shiny leg sticking out from a blanket on his thigh.

Gu Xiaoshan had woken up, and when he sat up, he still felt giddy. The curtains were half shut, and they were embroidered with a purplish red and dark green design. With the sunlight shining through they, they looked even more lustrous, and one might say they were familiar looking. This was the curtains he had picked for Renzi from India, and they were a matching set with the carpet.

Then...

With the light that shone even through the curtains, Gu Xiaoshan squinted and studied the furnishings of the room, as well as that familiar fragrance in the air— this, fuck, this is Renzi’s room!

His heart suddenly pounded quickly, and looked down at the piled up blanket — also purchased by Gu Xiaoshan — next to him. Poking out from it was a head of fluffy hair, its face hidden, but just by looking at the shape of the ear he could recognise that this was the real Yu Yunren. Then... this bare leg on his thigh was also Yu Yunren’s leg?

Gu Xiaoshan had wanted to push away this leg. Looking at it now, that bare, naked leg looked as white as snow under the sunlight, giving people a desire to touch it. However, Gu Xiaoshan inexplicably did not dare to touch.

His head was still dizzy, and he was not sure if it was because of the alcohol in his system or some other reasons. It felt as though his brain had rusted and could only process things slowly.

The door suddenly burst open, and Old Mister Yu came in with his cane, hitting the lights on. The incandescent lights were piercing to the eyes, and when the light hit the elaborately embroidered bedclothes, it made that leg on Gu Xiaoshan’s body looked even purer and fairer.

Old Mister Yu dramatically yelled, “What are you doing?!”

His yell attracted Yu Yuntao, who also came in and yanked the curtains open, allowing the sunlight to shine in. He then repeated indignantly, “What are you doing?!”

Even if Renzi was an idiot, he should have been awoken by now. Sitting up in fright, the blanket slid down from his shoulders, and his upper body was revealed under the bright lights. Gu Xiaoshan’s ears started buzzing, his mind blanking out, but his hands unconsciously reached out and tucked Renzi’s exposed body back into the blanket.

Renzi was also confused, his head throbbing with pain. Before he could register anything, he felt a pair of arms around him, and then he was wrapped up by a warm blanket. Renzi grabbed at the corner of the blanket, turning around to look behind him. The warm rays of the sun were shining through the window, and Gu Xiaoshan’s face was basked in the sunlight, and his body was also — bared. Other than a small blanket covering a certain sensitive spot, he was basically nude.

“Wow—” Renzi’s face changed, his head blowing up in smoke. However, his eyes were wide, and wantonly studied Gu Xiaoshan’s body. “Wow — Brother Xiaoshan...”

Wow, Brother Xiaoshan’s body is so built.